Author Archives: gaylepitman

About gaylepitman

Welcome to my blog! By day, I teach psychology and women/gender studies at Sacramento City College. By night, I write children's books and engage in other forms of subversive creativity. "Queer" and "feminist" are personal and political identities for me, and these identities shape everything I do.

June is PRIDE month! #LGBT

Library Goddess

June is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Pride Month (LGBT) and chances are/hopefully there are a lot of festivals, programs, and other events going on in your area to celebrate! Here are some books you may want to read to your students, children, or just for yourself to learn more and to celebrate people – everyone is different, we love who we love, and we are who we are, so let’s honor that and treat everyone with respect and kindness. Here are some of my favorite books to share that might help you with that!

George by Alex Gino – Excellent novel for upper elementary/middle grades. The main character, George, looks like a boy. But, inside she knows she is a girl. No one knows how George really feels until it’s time for the class play, Charlotte’s Web, and George decides to try out for the part of Charlotte.

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Happy Book Birthday!

Today is the official release day for my new children’s picture book! It’s called When You Look Out the Window: How Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin Built a Community, and it’s about . . . well, I bet you can guess what it’s about. The illustrations (which are gorgeous) were created by Christopher Lyles, and his artwork really brings the story of Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin to life for children.

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What made me want to tell this story? Especially to children? Sit back, because it’s going to take me a minute.

I met Phyllis Lyon five years ago, when I was working on a different book project involving a collection of interviews with people in the LGBTQIA community. Having lived in the San Francisco Bay Area for a number of years, I knew about the work Phyllis and Del had done for lesbians and for women in general. They were, essentially, the founders of the modern lesbian civil rights movement, and they were also the first to break through the “lavender ceiling” of the women’s movement. They were legendary to San Franciscans, yet virtually unknown by everyone else. I wanted to change that, because I didn’t want their stories to get lost.

This, by the way, is a common phenomenon in the LGBTQIA community – for stories to get lost, twisted around, told and re-told (but never written down) like a game of Telephone. And I’m sure you know how Telephone usually ends. That’s often how it’s been with LGBTQIA history. Sadly, a lot of our history has been lost forever, simply because no one felt that it was important enough to record. Or because no one bothered to listen to people who wanted to tell these stories.

So that’s partly why I decided to reach out to Phyllis Lyon. Del Martin had died in 2008, shortly after they had married during the short period when same-sex marriage was legal in California. Phyllis had been living alone in the house they’d bought together ever since. When I met with her, she was 88 years old – which brings me to the other reason I wanted to interview her. In many communities, LGBTQIA people over the age of 65 are largely invisible. The bar/club scene isn’t always their thing. Nor are youth-oriented events – for obvious reasons. There often aren’t community spaces designed for older LGBTQIA people, and they’re a population that’s often ignored. The film Gen Silent paints a powerful picture of the experiences of older LGBTQIA people, and I wondered if Phyllis could relate to this in any way.

The interview itself didn’t yield a ton of information. Although Phyllis was very gracious and seemed pleased to talk to me, her memory was in serious decline, and she really couldn’t recall many details about her activism. But when I arrived at her home, what immediately grabbed me (and then stuck with me) was the unbelievable view of San Francisco from Phyllis’ living room window. Her house is tiny – maybe 700 square feet – but it’s perched at the top of Castro Street in Noe Valley, with a huge picture window overlooking the city.  Initially, the image reminded me a bit of the Hitchcock film Rear Window – Phyllis, like Jeff Jefferies, was largely housebound, and her engagement with the outside world only existed through that pane of glass. The image, and the feelings associated with it, stuck with me for a long time. I felt like I needed to do something with the image of the picture window, but I didn’t know what.

Fast-forward a few years. For various reasons, the original book project faltered. In the meantime, I took up children’s writing and wrote a picture book called This Day in June. People liked the story, but so many of them REALLY liked the overview of LGBTQIA history and culture in the back of the book. “I had no idea about any of this!” was the most common thing people told me, which didn’t surprise me. “I’m embarrassed that I DON’T know about most of this,” said lots of people in the LGBTQIA community. That didn’t surprise me either. It’s uncommon for LGBTQIA history to be taught in schools. Even in California, which passed the FAIR Education Act several years ago, the inclusion of LGBTQIA history and culture in public school curricula is, well, pathetic at best, completely absent at worst. (To be fair, some of that isn’t the schools’ fault. Last time I checked, I could only find one picture book about an LGBTQIA-identified public figure. Guess who it’s about? The answer is provided at the end.)

And then, I had an epiphany:  I could tell stories about LGBTQIA history. I could help people connect their present-day experience with past events. If I wrote books about our history for kids, teachers would have resources they could use in their classrooms. And a picture book might just be the perfect way to capture the image of Phyllis and Del’s living room window overlooking the city. Thinking about it from a child’s perspective, I began to experience the image of the window in a different way. Rather than conjuring up memories of Rear Window, I imagined Phyllis gazing out over the city that she and Del had worked so hard to transform.

And the rest, as you might imagine, is history.

A percentage of the proceeds from When You Look Out the Window will be donated to the GLBT Historical Society in San Francisco. Because our histories need to be recorded, shared, and celebrated.

(The answer to my earlier question? Harvey Milk. At least, that’s all I could find for young children. The title of the book is The Harvey Milk Story.)


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LGBTQ Children’s Picture Books And Its Evolution

Pigeonhole Books

Over the last three decades, LGBTQ children’s books have gained in prominence and importance. We owe our gratitude to children authors who were and are brave enough to broach the subject head on despite knowing the backlash that would ensue. Thirty five years on we have seen greater acceptance of these books into a wide cross section of family units. Be it read for awareness, education or the simple pleasure of enjoying the word, they play an important role towards universal same gender equality.

By the same token, we still face challenges. We still face discrimination and injustice toward such literature, aimed at nothing more than to express one’s belief or simply as a resource for children growing up in modern society. Let’s delve into how these books have risen to the occasion against all odds and how they have made a credible contribution to the literary world.

1980 your family

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This author’s diversity dilemma: Reflections on Authors on the Move

Last Saturday, I attended a charity fundraising gala for the Sacramento Public Library Foundation. The event, called “Authors on the Move,” literally involved “authors on the move” – over 40 authors (including me) rotated from table to table, speed-dating style, and chatted with attendees about our books, our writing process, and all sorts of other things. We were treated to a champagne reception, a four-course gourmet meal, plenty of wine, and a live auction. It was a very lavish and fun event, and it was an incredible honor to be asked to participate.

And I almost didn’t go.

Why? Because the invited keynote speaker was Daniel Handler, aka Lemony Snicket. Many children know him for his books, including A Series of Unfortunate Events, All the Wrong QuestionsThe Dark, and We Are Pirates. Many people got to know him because of his remarks at the 2014 National Book Awards Ceremony. When he presented Jacqueline Woodson with the award for Brown Girl Dreaming, Handler quipped that Woodson is allergic to watermelon – likely assuming that our “post-racist” society could find humor and social commentary in such a statement. He also probably assumed that, because he and Woodson were friends, that he could joke with her about watermelon and that she would “get it.”

But she didn’t get it. No one did, actually. And even though Handler later apologized, and even though he tried to make amends by making a large matching donation to We Need Diverse Books, the wound lingered. If you read Jacqueline Woodson’s New York Times op-ed piece, “The Pain of the Watermelon Joke,” you can feel the sting of that wound. It takes seconds to tell a joke, but years for the stab wounds to heal.

And that’s why, when I learned that Daniel Handler was the keynote speaker at this event, I had second thoughts about attending – and I knew I had a dilemma on my hands. If I went, my attendance could be taken as a form of passive acceptance of Handler’s racist behavior, and as a reinforcement of his privilege. If I didn’t go, then diversity in children’s books probably wouldn’t be part of the conversation at the event. You see, in a split-second epiphany, I realized that among the children’s book authors, I was the “diversity” – meaning that my book was the only one featuring a historically marginalized and underrepresented group. Layers upon layers of oppression, you see.

My dilemma, of course, was minor in the grand scheme of things. Those of us who identify with minoritized groups face all sorts of no-win situations like this, and in many cases the stakes are much higher. But the bottom line always boils down to this: How do I choose a course of action that maintains my integrity, and that doesn’t involve participating in systemic oppression?

As you know, I decided to go. But even up until the night of the event, lots of evil voices in my head kept telling me that I was making a bad decision. You just want to get dressed up fancy! the evil voice said. You just want to sell lots of books! Boycott the event, and be a REAL activist!

Somehow, through all that clamor, a quieter voice kept saying, Go.

So I did. I trusted my gut. And I’m so glad I did.

I got dressed up real fancy. So fancy, in fact, that I got more questions about my necklace than I did about anything else. I sold lots of books. All of them, actually. I ate wonderful food, met many interesting people, and watched people bid huge amounts of money on dinners, weekend trips, and other auction items. (Dinner with me brought in $1,400, to give you an idea.) The Sacramento Library Foundation raised over $100,000, much of it to be used for their Summer Reading Program for kids.

And at every single table I was seated at, we talked about diversity (and oppression) in meaningful ways. We talked about the limited narratives in LGBT children’s literature; the absence of LGBT writers of color in the children’s book world; the dangers of raising children to be “color-blind,” rather than educating them about racism and other forms of oppression; the importance of being able to see oneself reflected in books and other forms of popular culture. We talked about Daniel Handler and the National Book Awards, reflected on whether he would address it in his keynote, and debriefed afterwards about what he did say. (He did address it, and it was the one time during his whole talk where he was dead serious.) Among the highly privileged, we even had discussions about privilege – White privilege, heterosexual privilege, class privilege. And we had time to talk about lighter topics, too – like where I bought my stunning necklace.

Would those conversations have happened if I hadn’t attended? It’s hard to know. But I do know that if you live in the bubble of privilege, it’s very easy NOT to have those conversations. I think this is what my gut knew all along, and why it kept quietly telling me to go. Inserting ourselves into privileged spaces and speaking our truth is a powerful act, I’m realizing.

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99 problems (and my story has them all): Diversity and “issues books”

For a while there, I had a great writing streak going. Ideas popped into my head at the most random times – at meetings, during conversations, while driving, or in the shower. I started carrying a small notebook with me so I could jot these ideas down before I forgot them – because too many times, I’d said to myself, “Oh, I’ll remember.” And, well, you know how that goes, I’m sure. It was like I couldn’t write fast enough. My day job was beginning to feel like this big inconvenience, because I didn’t feel like I had enough time to do justice to all these great ideas. But when an idea grabs hold of you, it’s hard to let it go. So I made the time to write, whether it involved staying up late, getting up early, or grabbing a few minutes here and there. The writing didn’t always come easy, and sometimes what seemed like a good idea in my head sounded clunky on paper.

And then . , . the well ran dry. For months, I’ve had trouble coming up with new, fresh, and compelling stories. Many writers I know have experienced this very thing, and in each case, the writing eventually started up again. But this felt a little different that what I’d heard people describe. It wasn’t like the well ran dry slowly, like a riverbed drying up in a drought. No, this felt more like the coin-operated showers you find at campgrounds – when your five minutes are up, the water stops abruptly, and there you are, freezing and dripping wet. Strange. And I had no idea why.

Until today.

Every spring, I attend a writing conference that’s hosted by my local chapter of the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators (SCBWI). Last year’s conference focused heavily on diversity in children’s books, probably in response to the well-publicized and much-needed #WeNeedDiverseBooks campaign. One of the workshops was “How to Write Diversity Into Your Stories,” which, ironically, was led by young White female associate editor from a large New York publishing house. At the end of the session, one of the questions I had was this: When writing for a diverse audience, how do you incorporate issues like racism, homophobia, class oppression, etc., in a way that’s appropriate for children?

“I wouldn’t focus too much on those things,” she said. “If you do, then it’ll be an ‘issues book,’ which are the scourge of the publishing industry.”

An “issues book.” I’d never heard the term before. But since the conference, I’ve seen that term tossed around quite a bit, along with its sibling, the “problem story.” Book reviewers tend not to like issues books, and if they do, it’s despite the presence of these issues. Most children’s picture books with LGBT characters fall into the category of “issues books.” Many books featuring people of color do as well – and when they don’t, the race and ethnicity of the characters aren’t really a central part of the story.

So now what do I do? I thought to myself. I’d written a manuscript about a girl who’s grieving the loss of her transgender sibling – an issues book. I’d started working on another one, at the request of my editor, about a mixed-race girl with two daddies who’s trying to figure out how to navigate Mother’s Day at school – another issues book. I’d been playing with a story about an intersex character, and another about a child whose mother comes out as transgender – which are, of course, issues books. Meanwhile, in the back of my head, round and round like the stock ticker in Times Square, I’m hearing, Issues books are the scourge of the publishing industry. No wonder I couldn’t get anything on paper! So many of my ideas involved addressing a character’s personal struggle triggered by oppression, and the last thing I wanted to do was contribute to a scourge.

That was only part of my epiphany. The other came this morning, when I read this article from the Diversity in YA blog. What they had to say about “issues books” basically boiled down to this:

  • If your characters are part of historically marginalized groups, then oppression is part of their experience.
  • If your characters have multiple minority identities, then the issues they face will involve these complex intersections. (For that reason, most books don’t include characters with more than one minority identity.)
  • Simple narratives that have a clean ending don’t reflect the realities that multiply minoritized people face.
  • As long as minoritized people face oppression, then books that realistically capture their experience will need to include issues – even if it seems like “too many issues.”

BINGO. This article nailed it. This is what I wish I’d thought to say at that conference.

It’s scary to me how easily this editor’s words derailed me, which speaks to the power of internalized oppression. I’ve studied internalized oppression for a long time (my dissertation focused on internalized homophobia), and I’m continually amazed at how, like a toxic mold, it can creep up and invades our psyches so easily. Internalized oppression may keep us from writing the stories we want to write. It keeps publishers from putting those stories out there – they fear they won’t make money, or they’ll be too depressing. But I don’t think it’ll keep readers from reading them – because, for many of us, they are our stories.

Just before I started writing this blog post, a little story idea popped into my head. I jotted it down, and later I’ll play around with it. Yes, that quickly, the idea well seems to be filling again.


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